Of Weddings And More.....

Its that time of the year again...when the roads are clogged with noisy,flashy,perfume sprayed, scotch drunk baraats...when your sleep is often disturbed by some not so distant loudspeaker playing "munni badnaam hui", "kajra re kajra re" or else the evergreen "mere haathon mein nau nau chudiyaan hain"...when your home is full of invitation cards and the refridgerator is bursting at the seams with the obligatory box of sweets which comes along... YES.... The Wedding Season..... is here once again... and has the entire north India in its vice like grip...

                                                   It seems that everyone you know,except yourself ofcourse is participating in the marriage marathon event in the CWG(common wedding games)....i mean, in case you too are participating in the event this season you probably would not agree with me and if you know me.. you would ofcourse call me up and bring me to task for all this insolent blogging and in case you happen to be a friend,i'm sure some colourful four letter words will follow... but you will be forgiven.. I cant hold a grudge against someone who has decided to voluntarily end his life...

                                         It is no minor surprise that,every year so many people gather the guts to say a final goodbye to a happy carefree life, and that too with so much aplomb!!! and as if the enormity of this mass dementia is not enough,they get seriously offended if you are for some reason unable to be a part of their grief...errrrr...pardon me... happiness i mean...
                                                     So many knots are being tied left ,right and centre that it is a miracle of no mean proportions that some of the knots dont get crossed somewhere .... and if you happen to be of marriagable age yourself(and non partcipating).. god help you.. your parents go out of their way to make you feel like some sort of a social retard...
                                   And if somehow with Herculean efforts you manage to retain some pride... fling your head with fake but much  practiced arrogance, and decide to "honour the occasion with your gracious presence to bless the newly weds" (cliched,i know... as if the newly weds really bother about your presence when all that they can think of is getting some privacy)...then you are confronted with the dillemna of choosing for urself the appropriate outfit for the numerous marriage functions...the number of which can be anywhere between 5 and 10...(i bet the marxists would be all turning in their graves with all this blatant ,in your face, capitalist belly dance)
                                                                                     Most importantly,one has to see that you are not caught in the extremely embarrassing, earth shattering situation of being spotted in two functions with the same dress... no  no no... and when social circles also happen to overlap... this could be a fashion disaster ...and this goes without saying that your clothes just have to be oooh! so perfect that all those who were heartbroken with the news that this year too you are not participating, will get a fitting reply...(I am sure I now sound as pissed as I really am)
                                                                                             And not  forgettong the matching sandals and accessories to go along...the wedding season could well be the end of whatever little money you have managed to save this year...on second thoughts,banks could introduce a a new series of loans.... not only for those who are marrying their kids off... but for also those poor souls who are forced to attend......and those in government service should be tax exempted if they have to attend more than a fixed number of weddings(lets say 7 or 8) in an year...

                           Finding the marriage venue is another test... with so many marriage palaces and farm houses etc etc in the city... and when your way is blocked by some baraatis who believe in dancing the nite away on the road itself.....taking a u-turn home isnt far away on your mind... but alas your retreat to the sane world is blocked by someother baraat bringing up the rear.... spotting some familiar pink turbaned ,suit clad uncle you heave a sigh of relief  at having joined the correct baraat...only to be reminded a minute later that this, sadly is not the correct baraat....as all uncles look same in pink turbans and suits.....
                                                                                 An hour or so later when you reach the venue,drained and at the verge of a nervous breakdown.... parking your car is...well....forget it, lets not go down that lane....
the bride and groom are as interested in you as your pet dog would be in knowing about the solar system and are in no mood to give you any more of their time than the perfunctory Namaste....(and imagine the way they were insisting that if you dont make it to the wedding its the end of all civil relations between you and themselves)..
and the catering ofcourse is bad...warm drinks and cold food.......and yes... your dress... let me assure you... no one gives a damn....
                                              And you drive back home, considerably light of pocket and heavy of heart, swearing not to do the same next year......and in case you too are getting hitched in the next season of madness, ofcourse your perspective would have changed...

wishing to look beautiful tonight

 Wishing to look beautiful for you tonight,

I adorn myself with you

Your love is my ornament

Your words are my diamonds and rubies,

The pearl that sits in my ear…

Your smell still lingers in me somewhere,

What other perfume could I wear…

Your promise I pick and choose,

Are the stars I wear in my hair

Your love chains me to you,

Tinkling in my feet as I move…

Your embrace soft and warm

Is the apricot silk I wrap my body in

Your dreams have filled my eyes

So I do away with the kajal...

Your kiss is the color that brightens my lips

I steal a final glance at myself in the mirror

And I realize my mirror is you…

Wishing to look beautiful tonight,

I adorn myself with you.

the inheritance of mandate

60  post independence years and we are still toteing the load of dynasty politics... not only in the state but also at the centre.... What does all this point at??? A basic amniotic love for slavery??? or the classic "chalta hai" attitude?? or is it so that we just dont care anymore??
A lot  has been said about political families and family politics in our nation ... most of it negative...
but what i want to question here is that, are we not confusing One Party Domination with One Family Domination here...and in a country like ours, which was among the first in the world to give universal adult franchise, and where elections are suppoused to be free and fair, is one party dominance something incestous???? what obvious harm has it brought to the country???
First 30 yrs after independence, the indian political scene was totally totally monopolised by the Congress Party,agreed... but then, that is somewhat understandable.. the Congress was an offshoot of the Indian National Congress of pre-independence days and thus had the legacy of the freedom movement behind it.. and it also cannot be denied that we have a penchant  for hero worship of unparalleled magnitudes....
but then, in the crucial post independence years, when along with the mammoth task of nation building,the leaders were also confronted by post WWII alliances and the threat of being again swalllowed by another larger giant..we still managed to keep our head above water so all in all...we were not given bad governance...so why crib?? There are other countries in the world where one party has dominated the political scene,but that has been at the cost of the compromising democracy...South Korea, Taiwan, Myanmar,Egypt,Mexico....but the same cannot be said for India..
But that is about one party dominance... speaking about dynasty rule and the chair passing from father to son thing...is it such that, only sons of established politicians can join the business??? is political acumen and statesmanship a heirloom,that is passed on from one generation to the other???
Are these prodigal sons and daughters worth hero worshipping???
have they made any sacrifices that the common indian makes while he is growing up? have they ever struggled for admissions in colleges or had to work part time to pay their tution??
Hasnt life been all about elite boarding schools and foreign universities? How well can they relate to the common indian for whome d struggle lies in arranging a square meal? do they represent us? but the fact that they get mandate and are brought to power like royalty, just because of the good name of their fathers...is a shame on us, not them...
But at the same time, we who pose all these questions, are we ready to roll up our sleeves and get down in the muck? Are we ready to struggle at d grass roots to bring in the change we loudly talk about on dinner tables ? probably not...we are disillusioned or disinterseted? or being the masters of inactivity,are we just glad sitting and talking????
As everything, this also boils down to the same thing.... either you get up or you shut up and put up...

as it came to my mind

in the hustle bustle of life, who really has the time to pause n ponder...but the inactivity of the last few months,has made me sit up and think... dat why is it happening, all that is happening..
here i dont attempt to sort out any great mysteries...or to suggest any fantastic solutions to the current turmoil...i just want to put into words what all my mind in its humble capacity has been able to assemble in the last 6 years that i have spent in Kashmir.
  the slogans on the roads.... the gory statistics.... the dead... the survivors...where has all this come from and where can it possibly go from here...
 i belong to the class of Indians who have always romanticised, idolised and worshipped their country.. its policies n its army....but the last few years have been a rude awakening of sorts.. n my very basic reason has been unhinged.
 azaadi.. or whatever it means... may be a pipe dream to most of us.... but it does carry its roots somewhere deep in d kashmiri psyche...
 there is no such person who hasnt suffered some harrasment ,whether intentional or otherwise,at the hands of d men in uniform... and over the years, all of it has added up to volcanic propotions...
 azaadi???? from what? not only from India, or Pakistan or whatever...
but azaadi from the continual,daily harrasments, the routine voilence...
d common man wants freedom to live his life with dignity.. the freedom to plan his tomorrow ...
the ability to go to bed at night without the fear of the next morning... the peace of mind to not freak out when a young son is out of home and isn't back by sunset....
and i am at a loss to understand what  price has the common man to pay for the freedom that he dreams about...